Are we joining quilt guilds??

Thoughts on looking for light community in non-church, non-work spaces

For Context:

Wichita, KS —my current location—is the only “city” I’ve ever lived in. I am from small towns, from communities, from the country. From the places where your neighbors know when you are having company over, where your landlord drives by just to check up on you, where your friends stop by on their evening walk to chat while you’re in your garden.

I have some very sweet stories about living in small towns, especially during my childhood and during the pandemic. There is something so homey and warm about a small town, about dropping flowers off on your friend’s porch, about running into each other at the coffee shop, about being able to walk to the post office and library.

I also have some not so cute stories about living in close-knit communities—neighbors and landlords being nosey, crossing boundaries, keeping too close of an eye on you. I had a couple of those stories happen in a row, about a year or so before I moved to Wichita, which made the transition a little easier on me.

I didn’t really know the feeling of being anonymous in your own neighborhood until moving to Wichita right before Ross and I got married, about 2 years ago. We found a house to rent on Facebook Marketplace and knew no one in the part of Wichita that we moved. And it felt like a sweet, sweet relief, surprisingly. No neighbors (read: my volunteers) stopping by unannounced? No neighbors commenting that they saw Ross and I kissing on the doorstep? No one wondering where we were going when we were packing up the car for a weekend getaway? No need to make cringey small talk every time you get groceries or go out on a walk? OKAY!!!

Ross and I in our little Wichita paradise!! Our community of porch plants!

I’ve loved living in a city for the past two years! I feel like I can breathe here, and Ross and I have been able to figure out a life together instead of one of us moving into the other person’s life. The only downside is that I miss being so close to my friends and the access to casual meet ups and grabbing lunch or an evening walk together. I miss that so much, especially because I haven’t really made many friends that live close to me here in Wichita.

Since moving here, I’ve mostly met my day-to-day social needs through co-workers, but…I’ve been through 3 jobs since moving here and none of them were places I could stay. And now that I am on this vocational wilderness journey, and have had some time away from the claustrophobia of a small town, I am looking to re-establish a better balance. I have space and energy to start wanting to find some light community here in Wichita. Nothing crazy—I still have amazing friends near and far and am not looking to make a whole new social roster! I guess I am just community-curious.

SO. I SAY ALL OF THIS TO SAYYYYY!

I’ve recently attended two local Quilt Guild meetings here in Wichita. In a curious search for light community around quilting, making, and love of fabric!!

I was * very brave* and went to the first quilt guild meeting by myself. I found the group on Facebook—the Wichita Modern Quilt Guild—which meets at a Honda dealership one Saturday out of the month. Yes, a Honda dealership!?!

I pumped myself up and went to the dealership at the date and time that were listed on Facebook. I went inside and asked where the quilt guild meeting was at, and the Honda dealership front desk attendant looked at me with very confused eyes and asked me to repeat myself. UGH I was afraid of this happening!! She yelled around to her other co-workers, and no one knew what I was talking about. Finally, one salesman came and said, “oh, she’s looking for the ladies? They meet up there in that conference room!” and pointed me in the right direction. Apparently, there is a “back entrance” that the guild members use so the Honda dealership workers don’t really ever seem them. Amazing.

I went upstairs and heard “the ladies” before I saw them! A bustling room of 45 or so women with their coffees and Sonic drinks and quilted purses all over the conference tables. Someone had me sign in and then I found an empty seat by a kind-eyed woman named Theresa. We chatted for a bit—she was very warm, and was a retired hospice social worker who had recently found quilting! Very cool. The program was led by two women who gave updates on some of the guild members with health issues, upcoming events, dues, member counts, lots of administrative announcements. Then there was “Show and Share”—my favorite part—where guild members got in line and showed what they were currently working on or had recently finished. Some even passed them around so we could see their finished products up close!

Show and Share

After that, there was a reveal of the projects the group had made in a “fabric challenge” from a few weeks earlier. Then, we played “fabric bingo” (see picture below) for way too long, called out ticket numbers for some door prizes, and then everyone was dismissed.

Fabric Bingo—they called out “red novelty print”, or “yellow polka dot” or “green geometric”…hilarious

I came home excited—I loved seeing what other modern quilters were making, even though a lot of it was kind of intimidating and above my own skill level. I am able to visit 2x’s before having to “pay dues” and officially join the guild, so I will plan to visit this one again I think.

My other thoughts: ughhhhh it’s on Saturday morning—one of the most holy mornings of the week. EVEN THOUGH I am not working an 8-5 right now, Saturday mornings still feel special and hard to give up.
(Does this sound selfish and lazy or par for the Millennial course? Or is this just the post-Covid mindset!?) There was also a lot of boomer, bureaucratic fluff in the meeting that lasted almost 2 hours—like the show and share was definitely the best part and it only lasted maybe 20 minutes. For something to be worth getting up and driving to the Honda dealership first thing on a Saturday morning, I want to be convinced of it’s worth in my life! Which, I will say, I don’t have enough information to judge it yet.

The second quilt guild I tried out here in Wichita was the Prairie Quilt Guild, which is one of the largest quilt guilds in the country, they said!? I went with my friend Rose, who I know because she was a volunteer at my previous my job at MCC. Hanging out with Rose was my favorite part of the whole meeting—she is full of snark, life, and love for quilting. I loved seeing pictures of all of her projects and hearing about what she is making for MCC!

My friend Rose and I at Prairie Quilt Guild! Check out the fancy name tag they gave me!

This quilt guild really felt like Quilt Church. It was huge. It is held once a month at a large church, and there is an afternoon meeting and an evening meeting each time to accommodate everyone. I went to the afternoon meeting. Rose explained that everyone shows up about an hour early to chat, look at the quilts people brought, sign up for things (there are like 13 sub committees in the guild that have tables set up around the room), or check things out of the shared library (led by the “library committee", of course.)

There were a couple hundred women there by the time it started, I think. Each meeting has like an emcee that leads it, which felt like a pastor. I got a lot of “by the book” energy at this guild. After the intro, all 13 committee representatives got up in a line on stage and all had time at the mic to update everyone on their projects. The welcoming committee, the membership committee, the block-of-the-month committee, charity quilt committee, the library committee, etc etc etc. I’m telling you—QUILT CHURCH!!!! Then, people lined up to do their show-and-shares, which was fun to see. Everyone was showing quilts that they had made “for their granddaughter, for their great-nephew, for their neighbor, for their sister’s nephew’s grandson”. I loved that—I was hearing from the generation of legacy quilt makers! Such generosity and excitement and time and planning went into each of these gifts. I loved the show and share time.

There was then a break to stretch, and then an hour-long speaker, which felt a little tedious after a while, but I liked seeing her projects.

I literally felt like I was waiting for someone to get up and lead us in a closing hymn at the end of it!

Overall, it was pretty clear to me that this one wasn’t it for me. Way too big, way too formal, way too churchy, way too long, way too…committee-d?

I don’t know if quilt guild is it. It didn’t feel like it was for me, even though I really am sure I could make good connections and learn a lot from the members.

Being at the Prarie quilt guild, which has dwindled in size since the pandemic and “since they upped their dues”, really made me wonder if my generation will continue the art of Quilt Guilding?? It’s similarity to church made me think that it will follow the path of the church—ie, dwindle significantly unless they can find a new way of doing things. Part of why I wanted to make this post was to see if other millennials are going to quilt guilds? Please sound off if you are reading this!!

At both guilds that I visited, I was the youngest person. While I don’t mind hanging out with older ladies—in fact, it is very easy for me to know how to connect with them after my years as a nurse and volunteer coordinator—I feel that there is a difference in quilting ethos, style, and vibe with those who have been quilting for their whole lives.

Where are people my age (mid-30’s) finding their “quilt guilds”? Is scrolling quilt-tok and following so many awesome modern quilt accounts on Instagram our updated version of “show and share” ? Connecting with other quilters on Substack and sharing our little projects? Watching youtube videos on the many ways to bind a quilt? Pinterest? It seems like there are so many ways to get guild-y information through internet connections.

Will our generation prioritize in-person meetings again? I am not even complaining—in person feels exhausting. Like a lot of effort. I think we are missing things through skipping out on in person meetings, but I also think it is a reality in our post-covid world, and it can take a lot to convince me to leave the house.

So, to be honest, I don’t know what I am looking for, if it isn’t quite a quilt guild. I think I am looking for something a little smaller, a looooot more casual, and a lot looser. Something that isn’t as long, something that lets you talk one on one a little more than a huge group. Maybe it looks like inviting friends over to sew in the Genesis Pod more often! Maybe it looks like volunteering at MCC sometimes. Maybe it looks like looking for smaller quilting groups, like social justice sewing groups or something like that.

Okay! Those are all my musings on quilt communities right now, but in the spirit of QUILT GUILD, here is my Show and Share for the week:

I finished piecing Aunt Mim’s quilt!

I started THE MOST FUN PROJECT EVER!!! An eye-spy scrappy quilt for my new niece, Maddie! This has been a BLAST to work on. I can barely stay away from the machine!!

I made a ton of 9 patches with leftover scraps for an MCC comforter I am making with my mom. I don’t use the color red like, EVER, but these were kind of fun to play with.

Okay! That’s all for now! Thanks for reading!

Peace,

Kate